The Revolution
Three years ago, I left a physically and mentally abusive relationship. I thought I was doing the right thing for myself, I thought I would be happier and healthier; as it turns out I had absolutely no life skills and was not in the least independent.
For the next three years I went on a downward spiral. I developed great anxiety and terrible coping mechanisms for my stress. Turning to substance for relief, this self-destructive pattern of self-abuse pushed me so far down I could only go up. Two years ago I stopped abusing substances getting a clearer head. Realizing now that there were far deeper issues that I had to deal with before I could become successful in life.
I went to psychiatrists and councilors’ but always felt just as bad if not worse once I left their office. With some new prescription in my hand for these symptoms I had…. Bi-polar, post traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, and depression. Eventually throwing my hands up in the air and stopped all medications; trying a sober run at it… still to fail everything I tried to do.
Two days homeless; sitting on my friends couch asking for a gun or some other form of suicide tool…. he gave me a gift. He took me to his friend and mentor John.
I walked in, I was tired, I was full of anxiety, I was impatient, everything short of rude. When we engaged in conversation I immediately felt connected and a willingness to participate, finding out about me and my worries was in itself therapeutic. I quickly developed a trusting relationship with this stranger.
I completely gave him permission to help me heal myself, and that’s exactly what he did it was amazing.
I received my first test not ten minutes after the session was over. I was supposed to be moving into this place, but got a text that it was no longer an option. Instead of my normal reaction to news like this where I would have crawled up into a little ball under a blanket, hyperventilated and spoke of suicide, I took three deeps breaths and calmly said to myself, “Well, that’s no good! OK! I’m ok with that! There are many more options for me I just haven’t thought of them yet!”
See, what he helped me do was, instead of focusing all my attention on the problem and the negative feelings that associated with them, I was now focusing on the solution. Everything in my life has done a 180. I now have a fabulous boyfriend, I have a place to live, I have job, ideas in the making, I have money and I have excitement for my future. Something I couldn’t say before…. and here’s the kicker…. three weeks ago — Yes, three weeks! All this has happened in three short weeks. It’s absolutely amazing. John has given my brain the proper tools to navigate successfully through life and I am excited for my future.
Rose