The question is often asked, "Is hypnosis suitable for teens?" Yes, absolutely. In 1995, a client brought to my attention a concern they had with their 12 year old daughter. She was beginning to receive reports from her school that she was becoming increasingly, but still mildly, disruptive during class. The mother indicated that her daughter's history was one of a fairly normal, happy upbringing, with no real difficulties, except the one instance of the separation and divorce of the parents when the daughter was 7 years old.
In the privacy of my office, Jill (not her real name) told me that she liked school, but that it was rather boring sometimes. I replied, "That's fine. Then tell me, is there anything at all that's bugging you?" "Yes", she replied, "I'm bothered that I seem to be gaining weight and that normal noises are keeping me awake at night. I've also been afraid of spiders ever since I can remember." My experience has taught me that her disruptions during class were her way of asking for help with what was really bothering her. The problems she described to me were merely the symptoms of something deeper. I suggested to Jill that if she wanted, I could show her some things that she would really like that could take care of the problems she mentioned, quickly and easily. She readily agreed, and made herself comfortable in my big leather recliner.
As I began, she easily followed my suggestion towards induction and deepening, and she soon found herself enjoying that "most pleasantly relaxed and comfortable state of mind" known as hypnosis. Hypnosis when properly used, is not only completely safe for teens, but teenagers and children make excellent subjects, often outperforming adults in the speed and results with which they utilize hypnotherapy. I then showed her that she had two different ways of observing experiences while in that state of mind. One way was to associate; to experience things as though inside your own body, looking out from your own eyes; essentially reliving the experience. The other way was to disassociate; where it seems as though you are standing outside your body and observing as a spectator, without having to re-experience the emotion of the moment.I then utilized a regression technique with specific instructions to follow the uncomfortable feeling that she associated with the weight gain, distraction of late night noises, and her fear of spiders.
I regressed her back to an early childhood experience in which it was her birthday party, where I asked her to describe to me what she found. After she had enjoyed' that experience, I told her that I knew it wasn't a very nice thing for me to ask her to do, but if she would be willing to revisit those uncomfortable experiences, we could soon make it so that she never had to feel that way again.I asked her if that would be OK? She replied, "Yes", so I gave the suggestion that on my signal, she would find herself at the time and place in her past where she experienced that uncomfortable feeling. At the signal she found herself at an experience in which she was about seven years old and had crawled under the house to which her mother had moved during her parents' separation. Of course, the space was `crawling' with spiders. I noticed her starting to react uncomfortably, so I reminded her to switch herself into the disassociated point of view in which she relaxed immediately. I asked her how that experience with the spiders made her feel. She responded emphatically, "Scared!"I said, "Yes, then tell me, was this the first experience in your life with spiders?" She replied, "Yes". I said, "OK, then tell me, is this the first time in your life that you felt that scared feeling?" "No," she answered.I then asked her to allow herself to feel that scared feeling just long enough so that I could, on my signal, take her to the very first time and place where she felt that way. As soon as she began to display those uncomfortable feelings, I gave our prearranged signal.I asked her to tell me where she found herself. She was at a time a year earlier in her life in which she had just been told of the separation. 1 asked her how that made her feel. She replied "Scared." I asked, "Is it the same scared feeling that you felt with the spiders?"' She replied, "Yes."I asked, "Why did this make you feel scared?" She replied, "I was scared of losing one or both of my parents."
Then I asked her if she had learned all that she needed to know from this past experience, and she replied that she had. I gave her suggestions to bring her back to the present, while retaining what she had learned. I then told her that because of this, we could now do some things that could take care of those pains. With her agreement, I then proceeded to send her back to those past experiences once more, only this time as her present self, age 12, to comfort that earlier, `younger her'.I then suggested to her that she now had the ability to comfort that `younger her', and to explain to the `younger her', anything that she needed to know in order to resolve the problem.While quietly observing, I could see by her facial and body expressions that she was obviously dealing with it. After 3 or 4 minutes, she relaxed and gave me the prearranged signal to let me know that she had completed whatever she needed to do.
It is interesting to note that quite often, adults in this situation require guidance in specific ways to assist in bringing about closure. Usually, teens find closure on their own without any prompting. Once they know what it is they need to deal with, their subconscious tends to bring about a satisfactory solution very readily.I said "Good, now are you quite sure that the 'you, back then', understands and is comfortable with all of this?" She replied emphatically, "Yes!"I then proceeded with suggestions that she could place the 'earlier her' somewhere that she knew would be perfectly safe and happy for now and all times. When she signaled that she had completed that, I guided her back to the present. I then suggested ways for her to take everything to do with this past pain and place it somewhere in her mind so small and distant that she didn't seem to notice it anymore.
Taking note of the obvious relief and comfort she felt from doing so, I offered suggestions toward her own inner abilities learned from what she had just accomplished. These suggestions served to create for her a brand new self-image, one in which she could enjoy the natural maturing and development of her body into the body that she desired for herself: a new self-image, in which she only pictured and felt about herself in positive, confident ways. While she was enjoying creating this new image, I offered suggestions towards her abilities to absorb input, store it in her memory, and then to be able to instantly retrieve that information at anytime she needed, for the purpose of doing exams or finding solutions. I also offered suggestions towards her ability to cause any distracting influences, especially sounds, to fade into the background. I further offered suggestions for her future responses to spiders.I knew that because she had already dealt with the underlying problem, there was no conflict with her subconscious incorporating these suggestions into her new self-image.
When she signaled that she had completed her new self-image, I then showed her how she could maintain the ever positive 'image that she now had. I proceeded with the suitable 'wake-up' suggestions. Her work was done.Her eyes opened; she smiled and exclaimed "Wow, that was really awesome! Can we do that again?" "Sure," I said, and one day I'll teach you self-hypnosis and autosuggestion so that you can further your own abilities to accomplish any goal you set for yourself. In a follow-up a few months later, her mother reported that Jill's sleeping had returned to normal. On her next report card, the comments about class disruption had changed to "a joy to have in class", and "a happy, creative student".Over the next few years, I had completely forgotten the situation regarding the spiders. However, a few months ago, another call from the mother brought Jill's visit to mind. It seems that a younger brother of one of her school friends was an avid `bug’ collector, and to assist this young boy in a school science project, Jill and the sister made a significant contribution to the collection.
Jill's mother had found ajar in fill's room, full
of spiders,
including some very large specimens of our local Wolf
Spiders - the huge furry ones!
Jill's only concern, when questioned by her mother about the spiders, was that it appeared that the Wolf spiders had eaten all the smaller ones she had, been saving!